considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize