We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
