Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
