i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
