Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
