you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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