Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
