Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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