She's JV to your varsity
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
