I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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