Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
