what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
