you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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