Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I cockslap morals
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
