Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
