im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
