The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
