i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
