; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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