that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
