Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize