I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
