The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
