I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
