he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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