you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
