Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
