you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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