So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
