if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw a hot homeless man
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
