Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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