Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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