It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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