Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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