This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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