Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
