i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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