Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
