I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
