yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
