Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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