Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
