Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
