YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize