people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You can't just leave with hair like that
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
