he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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