i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize