He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My penis needs a shock collar
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
