Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
