I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
