Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sobbing to NWA
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
where are my eyebrows?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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