Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
