How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
