i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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