my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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