my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
