Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize