If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
