TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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