Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
How's work?
Spinning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
