If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
