The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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