Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
