wat bout pragnant strippers??
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
