did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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