i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
