We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
