Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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