They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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