I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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