I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
